Recently, i've been feeling so lost. I have to be honest, when i didn't make the cut, it made me sad, very very sad. It particularly affected my sleeping pattern. I could not fall asleep at night cause i kept on over thinking. Thinking whether or not i was on the right track, whether or not i'm wasting my time. Whether or not my parents are lying about not being disappointed that i didnt make the cut. And when i do fall asleep, i have trouble getting up. Somehow, I felt disappointed that for some reason i still woke up. Basically, i was depressed. --i took a self diagnose test and i got a very high score.
After buckets of tears and loads and i mean loads of avocado milk shake, i feel okay. I still feel lost, but somewhat, i feel okay, i have come to terms with what had happened and where i am right now. This failure does not make me less of a person, it does not define me. And i bet in 10 years, this wont even matter. And i realised that its okay to be lost as long as you don't stop trying. As long as my heart pumps adequate blood for me to live, i will keep trying.
I guess what i am trying to say, when you think you've hit rock bottom, just keep trying! Because you know what, theres no way but up from there. Just push on. And its okay to be lost, to not know everything. Just. Dont. Give. Up.
With love,
dani (: x
Wednesday, 17 April 2013
Monday, 15 April 2013
Music Mayhem 3
Hi guys! as promised, I am finally finally updating this series! (: Here are the songs that I have recently discovered and/or have been listening to non stop recently! Hope you loved them as much as I did!
Let Her Go by Passenger
The Fall by Rhye
Friend Zone by Hoodie Allen
Where have you been by Manchester Orchestra
Open (Bondax Remix) by Rhye
Recently, I have been more into chill vibed music. If you have any suggestions, any random remarks, please feel free to leave it in the comment box below it is more the welcome.
Love,
dani (: x
Thursday, 11 April 2013
Excuses. Updates. Failure. New plan!
Hi there!
First of all, if I do have any constant readers, i'm sorry if i haven't updated for more than a month. Its because of University (surprise, surprise!). After our pinning ceremony we literally had boat loads of things to study for. exams, return demonstrations, practicals and reports. We were constantly, constantly racing against time! it was as if our lives were in fast forward and we were stuck in slow motion! enough of that. basically, I had very little time off and most of which were spent in bed, sleeping or being a nervous wreck.
Here's the low down on what has happened to my life to this day:
1. I finished my pinning ceremony (which wasnt perfect but it was nice to be part of the event, i guess.)
2. My dad came home from his work overseas! (he travels around the world for his work and comes home for a few months then goes back travelling again.)
3. I got a few things! Darcy, the ipad mini, which I love so dearly! and a new Casio watch and a few souvenir items from the countries my dad visited.
4. It's finally summer vacation! (:
Failure. I just found out that I didn't make the cut to being a regular student next sem (still isnt yet confirmed but basing from my standing, it wont be a shocker.). meaning I wont get the complete set of units next sem which is a bummer and quite disappointing really, after all the things i've done to get good grades. but i guess it wasnt enough, I blame my procrastination! but yeah. i think this is a blessing in disguise because remembering last sem, it was like poison to me. The demanding schedule. constantly racing against time and constantly conceding defeat to it took a toll on me. the stress it just wasnt good for me anymore. and Besides, most of the fourth years said that fourth year is even more demanding. and i think I'd rather take this year slowly but surely. I dont want to be regular the first sem and be stretched to thin again and end up failing a subject that is a prerequisite of a subject for the 2nd semester that would just extend my stay for a year! so yeah. I'd rather extend a few months than a year.
Do more of what makes you happy. thats my new plan! and I've finally decided to do something that I've been wanting to do for months now! since, I wont be having summer class and I'm quite sure i'll have loads of free time next sem, i think i'll be able to maintain it. I'm not going to reveal what it is yet cause i'm still making the preparations, but when its ready i'm gonna share it with you, i promise!
Expect more regular updates from me these coming months! thank you!
with love,
dani (: x
First of all, if I do have any constant readers, i'm sorry if i haven't updated for more than a month. Its because of University (surprise, surprise!). After our pinning ceremony we literally had boat loads of things to study for. exams, return demonstrations, practicals and reports. We were constantly, constantly racing against time! it was as if our lives were in fast forward and we were stuck in slow motion! enough of that. basically, I had very little time off and most of which were spent in bed, sleeping or being a nervous wreck.
Here's the low down on what has happened to my life to this day:
1. I finished my pinning ceremony (which wasnt perfect but it was nice to be part of the event, i guess.)
2. My dad came home from his work overseas! (he travels around the world for his work and comes home for a few months then goes back travelling again.)
3. I got a few things! Darcy, the ipad mini, which I love so dearly! and a new Casio watch and a few souvenir items from the countries my dad visited.
4. It's finally summer vacation! (:
Failure. I just found out that I didn't make the cut to being a regular student next sem (still isnt yet confirmed but basing from my standing, it wont be a shocker.). meaning I wont get the complete set of units next sem which is a bummer and quite disappointing really, after all the things i've done to get good grades. but i guess it wasnt enough, I blame my procrastination! but yeah. i think this is a blessing in disguise because remembering last sem, it was like poison to me. The demanding schedule. constantly racing against time and constantly conceding defeat to it took a toll on me. the stress it just wasnt good for me anymore. and Besides, most of the fourth years said that fourth year is even more demanding. and i think I'd rather take this year slowly but surely. I dont want to be regular the first sem and be stretched to thin again and end up failing a subject that is a prerequisite of a subject for the 2nd semester that would just extend my stay for a year! so yeah. I'd rather extend a few months than a year.
Do more of what makes you happy. thats my new plan! and I've finally decided to do something that I've been wanting to do for months now! since, I wont be having summer class and I'm quite sure i'll have loads of free time next sem, i think i'll be able to maintain it. I'm not going to reveal what it is yet cause i'm still making the preparations, but when its ready i'm gonna share it with you, i promise!
Expect more regular updates from me these coming months! thank you!
with love,
dani (: x
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