Its okay to be lost

Recently, i've been feeling so lost. I have to be honest, when i didn't make the cut, it made me sad, very very sad. It particularly affected my sleeping pattern. I could not fall asleep at night cause i kept on over thinking. Thinking whether or not i was on the right track, whether or not i'm wasting my time. Whether or not my parents are lying about not being disappointed that i didnt make the cut. And when i do fall asleep, i have trouble getting up. Somehow, I felt disappointed that for some reason i still woke up. Basically, i was depressed. --i took a self diagnose test and i got a very high score.

After buckets of tears and loads and i mean loads of avocado milk shake, i feel okay. I still feel lost, but somewhat, i feel okay, i have come to terms with what had happened and where i am right now. This failure does not make me less of a person, it does not define me. And i bet in 10 years, this wont even matter. And i realised that its okay to be lost as long as you don't stop trying. As long as my heart pumps adequate blood for me to live, i will keep trying.

I guess what i am trying to say, when you think you've hit rock bottom, just keep trying! Because you know what, theres no way but up from there. Just push on. And its okay to be lost, to not know everything. Just. Dont. Give. Up.


With love,
dani (: x

Music Mayhem 3

Hi guys! as promised, I am finally finally updating this series! (: Here are the songs that I have recently discovered and/or have been listening to non stop recently! Hope you loved them as much as I did!

Let Her Go by Passenger

The Fall by Rhye

Friend Zone by Hoodie Allen

Where have you been by Manchester Orchestra

Open (Bondax Remix) by Rhye

Recently, I have been more into chill vibed music. If you have any suggestions, any random remarks, please feel free to leave it in the comment box below it is more the welcome.

Love,

dani (: x

Excuses. Updates. Failure. New plan!

Hi there!

First of all, if I do have any constant readers, i'm sorry if i haven't updated for more than a month. Its because of University (surprise, surprise!). After our pinning ceremony we literally had boat loads of things to study for. exams, return demonstrations, practicals and reports. We were constantly, constantly racing against time! it was as if our lives were in fast forward and we were stuck in slow motion! enough of that. basically, I had very little time off and most of which were spent in bed, sleeping or being a nervous wreck.

Here's the low down on what has happened to my life to this day:
1. I finished my pinning ceremony (which wasnt perfect but it was nice to be part of the event, i guess.)

2. My dad came home from his work overseas! (he travels around the world for his work and comes home for a few months then goes back travelling again.)

3. I got a few things! Darcy, the ipad mini, which I love so dearly! and a new Casio watch and a few souvenir items from the countries my dad visited. 

4. It's finally summer vacation! (:

Failure. I just found out that I didn't make the cut to being a regular student next sem (still isnt yet confirmed but basing from my standing, it wont be a shocker.). meaning I wont get the complete set of units next sem which is a bummer and quite disappointing really, after all the things i've done to get good grades. but i guess it wasnt enough, I blame my procrastination! but yeah. i think this is a blessing in disguise because remembering last sem, it was like poison to me. The demanding schedule. constantly racing against time and constantly conceding defeat to it took a toll on me. the stress it just wasnt good for me anymore. and Besides, most of the fourth years said that fourth year is even more demanding. and i think I'd rather take this year slowly but surely. I dont want to be regular the first sem and be stretched to thin again and end up failing a subject that is a prerequisite of a subject for the 2nd semester that would just extend my stay for a year! so yeah. I'd rather extend a few months than a year.

Do more of what makes you happy. thats my new plan! and I've finally decided to do something that I've been wanting to do for months now! since, I wont be having summer class and I'm quite sure i'll have loads of free time next sem, i think i'll be able to maintain it. I'm not going to reveal what it is yet cause i'm still making the preparations, but when its ready i'm gonna share it with you, i promise!

Expect more regular updates from me these coming months! thank you!

with love, 
dani (: x

Music Mayhem Spotlight: Bastille

Bastille. A new up and coming band had just released their debut album "Bad Blood" today. Me, having loved a number of their songs--flaws, what would you do and pompeii, I simply had to get hold of a copy so I quickly downloaded the whole album.

Here is the Track List of the Album:
Pompeii
Things We Lost In The Fire
Bad Blood
Overjoyed
These Streets
Weight Of LivingPt. II
Icarus
Oblivion
Flaws
Daniel In The Den
Laura Palmer
Get Home

I Loved this album. there was not one song that I skipped and thats a very rare thing for me to do. each song was amazing in its own right. If you're not convinced on the epicness of this album, then I shall give you 3 points why you should buy this record.
1. Bastille is a Unique band. they're different-- Seriously, I can't think of any band to actually compare them to. they are bastille. they are different. period.
2. The songs in the album are all amazing. I especially loved Flaws, Things we lost to the flames and pompeii!
and last but not the least, 3. It's a relevant album. the songs. the band. everything about it. it's not about swagger, not about YOLO (not not that I have anything against it but...you know.)it's about real things. Real emotions. and I like that.

thanks for reading my blog! and sorry if I havent been updating lately I am just so busy with university! it's crazy! like seriously. we literally dont have time to even have proper sleep. anyway, enjoy! (:

(: x
dani

Music Mayhem 2

Hi guys! as of February 10, 2013. These are the songs that I've recently come across! (: I know I havent updated this series for a long time. I was a little busy with school to actually delve into the narnia part of youtube! I hope you guys like these songs! If you have any songs to suggest-- old or new, please feel free to leave it at the comment box below! (:

Your Song by Left Boy

Flaws by Bastille

Pompeii (acoustic) By Bastille

Shine By Benjamin Francis Leftwich

No Interruption By Hoody Allen

 yeap. these are the 5 songs I've recently discovered. I hope you guys loved them as much as I did.  If you've any suggestions, please feel free to leave them at the comment box below. or if you've anything to say, any feed back is welcome!

(: x

dani

Static

It's been 5 weeks since school resumed from Christmas break and of those 39 days, 29 of those days were packed with exams. Basically, we only had Sundays off--technically. and not even those Sundays were used up for pure relaxation cause it was used to study for the exams, so yeah. basically, My days along with other PT students (3rd-5th years) were used for reading, desperately trying to absorb as much knowledge as our brains would allow. and that scenario-- 39 days filled with exams, could greatly affect you. Your personality, your confidence, your sanity! and I for one was greatly affected. I genuinely think I lost a part of myself because of it. but tonight, tonight is different. Its a free night. No exam to worry about (atleast not until monday) . Just me, my laptop, wifi and my bed. I've missed these nights; nights where I need not worry about anything other than whether or not my wifi connection is fast enough. I know this seems trivial. to you it maybe. but to me and other PT (3rd-5th yr) students, these kinds of night are huge blessings. are the nights that somehow keep us sane (well, atleast for me). These nights let us slow down a little bit. take a breath. and just enjoy the static. 

These nights are always welcomed (with arms wide open and confetti) into my schedule. They keep us --me sane. and some what, thankful. and tonight, I feel really thankful and (proud to say this) have gained back a sizeable amount of the sanity I've lost! haha

(: x

dani

P.S. Dont get me wrong, I'm not complaining, this course is something I want but sometimes, it just gets so hard and challenging that it really takes a toll on you.

I am a Physical Therapist.

Hi there. so, I havent been posting lately. Cause I've been really really busy with school. It was midterms-- it still is actually, but today I choose to give myself a break. So, Last week was another week packed with exams and alas, I was feeling defeated, tired and depressed. and well, let's just say, I've had better days than the ones that I'm living right now. but, I'm not complaining. I realized that all these-the hardship, torture that we have to go through will eventually pay off. and technically, this is what I came to uni for. Education. Knowledge. and I got it but in a much bigger dosage than I expected. but you cant get everything you want right? right.

Midterms literally sucked the life out of me. I've been really really depressed and quite frankly, for a moment, I already gave up. But something changed today. Something lit the dying fire inside of me. it's this thin piece of silver. It's my name plate. I've invested so much blood, sweat, tears and even a sizeable percentage of my sanity to get this. and I've realized that if I gave up now, all the things I've invested in this course would all go to waste. to oblivion. wasted. and ultimately, my dream would not actualize.

I've spent so many nights working my ass off to get this. and when I finally saw it, my heart welled up. it was so heart warming for 3 years, I've been looking forward to actually having my own name plate, and today, I finally have one. (not sure if I cant wear it before the actually pinning and candle lighting ceremony but you get the picture). 

This week might not have been the best week of my life but it sure ended with an amazing and inspiring ending! (: 

(: x

dani